I hope you feel happy
When you speak with me
Because honestly honey
You’re a calamity
Your whiskers are too rough
Harsher than your pokey touch
And honestly baby
You’re a catastrophe
But then you hug me when I cry
And you’re so sweet when you say bye
It makes me hurl out all my lunch
But then you kiss my well blushed cheek
And you snarl at all the other freaks
It makes me have to thank you a whole
bunch
So I hope you feel happy
When you’re out with me
Because honestly honey
You’re a calamity
You smell like an old man’s sock
And it doesn’t make you give a fuck
So honestly baby
Stay a little bit away from me
But then you hold me when I’m low
And tell me all the great things you
know
It makes me feel all warm like goo
And then you kiss my cheeks again
And you’re really better than all the
other men
You just need to have a shower… or two!
Now I really feel happy
When you hang out with me
Because honestly baby…
We’re both calamities.
