It felt like the clouds were passing through her. In fact, that was exactly what was happening. She tugged her jacket and pulled the red woollen skull cap down to cover her ears. This walk alone may not have been such a good idea. But then again, like Mohit said, "Convenience is for the weak."
They had all left about two hours earlier on the rented bikes. Khushboo simply decided to stay back with Lara since she was sick. It was warmer now, but Lara's health wasn't getting any better and her Mum finally had to pick her up and take her back to their hotel. No matter how much fun they made of her, she was lucky that her parents decided to accompany them "from afar"! Mohit would definitely have something to say about this, she thought.
Four kilometers was taking her more effort to walk than she had estimated. Tired and out of breath, she sat down. She took out her phone to see if they had tried to contact her. Only their message from when they reached flashed on her screen. It was from Varun's phone but she knew it was Mohit.
"We've reached. I know you losers are going to ditch. Can't even travel a little bit outside the city without breaking a nail! We'll see you tomorrow, weaklings. A big get well soon from the real men over here haha!"
She hated when he got like this, when he behaved like a hero over something so pointless. He did it so often now. She also hated that it affected her, and that she gave in and kept trying to prove herself without saying anything about it. Anyway, he never cared even if she did manage to accomplish the task. His usual response was "Of course she can do it. Whose girlfriend do you think she is? My girlfriend is no weakling, okay!"
She had to get moving again. Sitting was only making her colder. She was scared though, not because of the cold but the mist had settled and she couldn't see beyond three feet in front of her. This walk alone was definitely a bad idea...
She took three more steps before stopping. She was exhausted, drained, and sick of being on a damned mountain alone. She took a deep breath. At least she tried to. She saw some sheep through the fog coming towards her, with a shepherd right behind. She tried to breathe again, which is when she realised she couldn't.
She looked at the sheep again, wishing she had that kind of energy... and wool.
And then, they all just started fading away.
The last thing she saw before passing out was the shepherd running through the flock towards her. She had already put her hand out, and then crumpled to the floor.
"I can't fucking get through to her phone! If she's gone back with Lara, I'm going to be so pissed. What chickens."
Mohit had been trying to contact Khushboo for an hour. "Stupid mountain with stupid network issues!" was his favourite line that day. And to make it worse, they finally got the news.
The young shepherd had run in, sweating (yes, sweating even in the inglorious cold, out of fear and panic). Hurriedly, he told the manager that a girl had collapsed nearby. He found a picture of her and Mohit in her wallet and remembered seeing him and the group come into the shacks earlier that day. The manager immediately took him to the group who had just come to the main cabin for lunch.
"She resting in my friend house nearby. I know the family many years. I take you." he said and motioned for them to get up.
They all abandoned everything, leaving their keys with the clerk/waiter/housekeeping servant/only other person working there. Varun slapped Mohit on his head "How could you let her stay back alone? Asshole."
Mohit didn't think she'd "be stupid enough to come on her own", and he only sent her the message from Varun's phone so that she wouldn't take it seriously. He held her hand, saying sorry to her over and over again, in his head. That was the most he could do to make himself feel better till they got there.
It wasn't working.
The fever and fatigue finally wore off three hours later, but Khushboo didn't know that.
She had suddenly gone from seeing sheep, to staring at an old Nepali woman dabbing her head with a wet cloth. She couldn't even tell if it was hot or cold. She was just thankful that she woke up somewhere that looked safe.
"Khushboo? Fuck, I'm so sorry! Please, don't wake up, don't worry, you're fine! We're all here now. Hey guys, she's awake! Get the food ready! Khush, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry!"
Mohit hadn't hugged her like that in a while. His warmth was welcome, and suddenly made everything worth it.
"Why did you come alone? Why didn't you go with Lara? We were just joking, Khush." Mohit kept asking her, guiltily, till Varun came in. "YOU were just joking, Mo. Don't bring us into this! You should have stayed back man! I'm so sorry Khush, we'll all stay next time." Varun sat by her. "I'm so sorry sis'. I'll slap this guy next time he leaves you like that! Actually, I already did. If it makes you feel better, should I slap him again right now?"
Till that point, it was too much for Khushboo, till she heard her brother's voice.
She smiled a bit and finally said "No, Varun, I'm fine now. Just give me a minute okay?"
He nodded and left the little room.
She hugged Mohit.
He couldn't help but feel even worse than he already did.
"I'll never do that to you again. I promise, I'm never leaving your side. Why did you decide to be such a hero? Why did you even bother? I was just being stupid, you know me! Next time, please tell me if you're going to attempt something like this! God, Khush... I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm so glad you're okay." he whispered to her.
In that moment she realised what her anger wouldn't let her.
Without him, she wouldn't even have the courage to do half of what she had done in the last few years, she wouldn't be as strong as she had become. Without him, she wouldn't have ever seen something as beautiful as sunrise in the Himalayas.
"Without you, I wouldn't even be halfway to okay. I'm sorry too. And there won't be a next time. I won't ever leave your side either." she said.
Sometimes, it takes a fragile moment to fix something that's broken.
And sometimes, just maybe, we could use a little extra care to prevent fragile moments and broken hearts from being there in the first place.
They had all left about two hours earlier on the rented bikes. Khushboo simply decided to stay back with Lara since she was sick. It was warmer now, but Lara's health wasn't getting any better and her Mum finally had to pick her up and take her back to their hotel. No matter how much fun they made of her, she was lucky that her parents decided to accompany them "from afar"! Mohit would definitely have something to say about this, she thought.
Four kilometers was taking her more effort to walk than she had estimated. Tired and out of breath, she sat down. She took out her phone to see if they had tried to contact her. Only their message from when they reached flashed on her screen. It was from Varun's phone but she knew it was Mohit.
"We've reached. I know you losers are going to ditch. Can't even travel a little bit outside the city without breaking a nail! We'll see you tomorrow, weaklings. A big get well soon from the real men over here haha!"
She hated when he got like this, when he behaved like a hero over something so pointless. He did it so often now. She also hated that it affected her, and that she gave in and kept trying to prove herself without saying anything about it. Anyway, he never cared even if she did manage to accomplish the task. His usual response was "Of course she can do it. Whose girlfriend do you think she is? My girlfriend is no weakling, okay!"
She had to get moving again. Sitting was only making her colder. She was scared though, not because of the cold but the mist had settled and she couldn't see beyond three feet in front of her. This walk alone was definitely a bad idea...
She took three more steps before stopping. She was exhausted, drained, and sick of being on a damned mountain alone. She took a deep breath. At least she tried to. She saw some sheep through the fog coming towards her, with a shepherd right behind. She tried to breathe again, which is when she realised she couldn't.
She looked at the sheep again, wishing she had that kind of energy... and wool.
And then, they all just started fading away.
The last thing she saw before passing out was the shepherd running through the flock towards her. She had already put her hand out, and then crumpled to the floor.
* * *
"I can't fucking get through to her phone! If she's gone back with Lara, I'm going to be so pissed. What chickens."
Mohit had been trying to contact Khushboo for an hour. "Stupid mountain with stupid network issues!" was his favourite line that day. And to make it worse, they finally got the news.
The young shepherd had run in, sweating (yes, sweating even in the inglorious cold, out of fear and panic). Hurriedly, he told the manager that a girl had collapsed nearby. He found a picture of her and Mohit in her wallet and remembered seeing him and the group come into the shacks earlier that day. The manager immediately took him to the group who had just come to the main cabin for lunch.
"She resting in my friend house nearby. I know the family many years. I take you." he said and motioned for them to get up.
They all abandoned everything, leaving their keys with the clerk/waiter/housekeeping servant/only other person working there. Varun slapped Mohit on his head "How could you let her stay back alone? Asshole."
Mohit didn't think she'd "be stupid enough to come on her own", and he only sent her the message from Varun's phone so that she wouldn't take it seriously. He held her hand, saying sorry to her over and over again, in his head. That was the most he could do to make himself feel better till they got there.
It wasn't working.
* * *
The fever and fatigue finally wore off three hours later, but Khushboo didn't know that.
She had suddenly gone from seeing sheep, to staring at an old Nepali woman dabbing her head with a wet cloth. She couldn't even tell if it was hot or cold. She was just thankful that she woke up somewhere that looked safe.
"Khushboo? Fuck, I'm so sorry! Please, don't wake up, don't worry, you're fine! We're all here now. Hey guys, she's awake! Get the food ready! Khush, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry!"
Mohit hadn't hugged her like that in a while. His warmth was welcome, and suddenly made everything worth it.
"Why did you come alone? Why didn't you go with Lara? We were just joking, Khush." Mohit kept asking her, guiltily, till Varun came in. "YOU were just joking, Mo. Don't bring us into this! You should have stayed back man! I'm so sorry Khush, we'll all stay next time." Varun sat by her. "I'm so sorry sis'. I'll slap this guy next time he leaves you like that! Actually, I already did. If it makes you feel better, should I slap him again right now?"
Till that point, it was too much for Khushboo, till she heard her brother's voice.
She smiled a bit and finally said "No, Varun, I'm fine now. Just give me a minute okay?"
He nodded and left the little room.
She hugged Mohit.
He couldn't help but feel even worse than he already did.
"I'll never do that to you again. I promise, I'm never leaving your side. Why did you decide to be such a hero? Why did you even bother? I was just being stupid, you know me! Next time, please tell me if you're going to attempt something like this! God, Khush... I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm so glad you're okay." he whispered to her.
In that moment she realised what her anger wouldn't let her.
Without him, she wouldn't even have the courage to do half of what she had done in the last few years, she wouldn't be as strong as she had become. Without him, she wouldn't have ever seen something as beautiful as sunrise in the Himalayas.
"Without you, I wouldn't even be halfway to okay. I'm sorry too. And there won't be a next time. I won't ever leave your side either." she said.
* * *
Sometimes, it takes a fragile moment to fix something that's broken.
And sometimes, just maybe, we could use a little extra care to prevent fragile moments and broken hearts from being there in the first place.
 | ||
| "The clouds, they cleared. The sun, it shone once again." |
* * *
Credit:
Thanks to Malathi for the beautiful tweet that inspired this story
- about clouds in Sikkim that pass through you.
Thanks to Mihir for this breathtaking photograph to compliment these moments
and complete my piece.
And finally, thank you Arjun, for being the one to open my eyes to the best of me
without ever leaving my side or putting me in a shitty situation.
I'm more than thankful to have you in my life.
I feel so loved.
without ever leaving my side or putting me in a shitty situation.
I'm more than thankful to have you in my life.
I feel so loved.
