July 13
Blind
It’s another one of those days, I thought to myself. One more day where all I’ll want is something warm, knowing it isn’t there and I won’t get it for a while now. Listen to yourself, Joanne, you’re going crazy… But how can I help myself? Doesn’t everyone want permanent shelter?
I looked out the window. Snow. Three feet high.
It was definitely one of those days.
I put on another layer of clothing hoping that would make me a little warmer. I walked into the study and looked around. The only thing that hadn’t caught dust was that black photo frame. The books, the shelves, the bottles, all dusty. I glanced at the frame. I could feel it somewhere at the back of my mind, trying to surface, and then I could feel myself holding it all back. Poison, that’s what it was. Just another wicked poison.
An hour later I risked the white. Put on some snow shoes and made my way down the deserted street. All windows were shut, all stores closed, and everyone inside their houses. Just the way I liked it.
Brisk, cold winds blew past my ears, blowing my uncovered hair into my face.
“Joanne dear,” I heard the wind say, “get home, Jo, home”
I walked another two blocks. Dragged my feet into the park and trudged my way to a bench. I wiped the snow off and sat down.
“Joanne” it said again, “home, Joanne”
I thought about it again. I thought about why I had cleaned only that one picture in my beautiful study and why I had left all my other wonderful books covered in webs of dirt. Ignorance is bliss, they say, but ignoring my books didn’t give me any happiness. It made me colder.
“Joanne, my love,”
Was it because I still longed for it?
“get yourself home, love”
Was it because I missed it? Because it caught my eye?
“Joanne! Go home!”
Because I wanted him back from…
A bird came and sat on my lap, bringing me out of my peaceful oblivion. I decided to head home. “Hurry Jo, hurry…” I heard it say. Nonsense, it seemed like nothing but nonsense.
I climbed the stairs to the 7th floor because the elevator was down due to the heavy snow. Three and a half feet now.
I took out my keys, put them in, and opened the door.
Everything spun. Everything.
“I told you Jo, I told you to get home”
A heaving pain rose from my chest, ran through my body and stopped all of a sudden. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t feel.
“It’s too late Jo. You heard the doctor. Exactly three months is what he said Jo. Three months if you didn’t stay in there Jo. I’m sorry Jo. It’s over. I’ll never forget you Jo. I love you Jo. I wish you took me out of that frame Jo.”
I looked out the window. Snow. Three feet high.
It was definitely one of those days.
I put on another layer of clothing hoping that would make me a little warmer. I walked into the study and looked around. The only thing that hadn’t caught dust was that black photo frame. The books, the shelves, the bottles, all dusty. I glanced at the frame. I could feel it somewhere at the back of my mind, trying to surface, and then I could feel myself holding it all back. Poison, that’s what it was. Just another wicked poison.
An hour later I risked the white. Put on some snow shoes and made my way down the deserted street. All windows were shut, all stores closed, and everyone inside their houses. Just the way I liked it.
Brisk, cold winds blew past my ears, blowing my uncovered hair into my face.
“Joanne dear,” I heard the wind say, “get home, Jo, home”
I walked another two blocks. Dragged my feet into the park and trudged my way to a bench. I wiped the snow off and sat down.
“Joanne” it said again, “home, Joanne”
I thought about it again. I thought about why I had cleaned only that one picture in my beautiful study and why I had left all my other wonderful books covered in webs of dirt. Ignorance is bliss, they say, but ignoring my books didn’t give me any happiness. It made me colder.
“Joanne, my love,”
Was it because I still longed for it?
“get yourself home, love”
Was it because I missed it? Because it caught my eye?
“Joanne! Go home!”
Because I wanted him back from…
A bird came and sat on my lap, bringing me out of my peaceful oblivion. I decided to head home. “Hurry Jo, hurry…” I heard it say. Nonsense, it seemed like nothing but nonsense.
I climbed the stairs to the 7th floor because the elevator was down due to the heavy snow. Three and a half feet now.
I took out my keys, put them in, and opened the door.
Everything spun. Everything.
“I told you Jo, I told you to get home”
A heaving pain rose from my chest, ran through my body and stopped all of a sudden. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t feel.
“It’s too late Jo. You heard the doctor. Exactly three months is what he said Jo. Three months if you didn’t stay in there Jo. I’m sorry Jo. It’s over. I’ll never forget you Jo. I love you Jo. I wish you took me out of that frame Jo.”
No comments:
Post a Comment